September e-news
Dr
Suzy Green & Associates
Spring has sprung! The perfume of spring flowers is in the air and while it’s still a bit nippy outside, the sun is shining and life seems bright!
The beginning of Spring is a great time to do a “spring clean” – not just of clutter at home and work, but identifying the “energy drainers” of your life (email me for a tool that helps you here!) These may be outstanding tasks that you’ve been meaning to do eg car repair/maintenance, dentist appointments, renewing your will; or relationships that are in need of repair or a respectful ending – more to come on this below!
After a clearing out, Spring is also about “new beginnings”. Ask yourself what are some of the positive changes I’ve been wanting to create in my life, at work and personally? Review your values – are you living these fully or could your life reflect these in a more congruent fashion? It’s also a perfect time to review your “Letter from the Future” (refer to february 07 e-newsletter on the website) and perhaps your description of your “Best Possible Self” (refer to march 07 e-newsletter). What are the gaps to becoming the person you want to be and the life you want to live? As I’ve noted before, writing these down as SMART goals (specific, measurable, authentic, realistic and time-framed) will enhance your chances of success (email me for a SMART goal setting guide if you like).
Last month my discussion was around social intelligence and building social capital. I hope, in fact I’m pretty sure, there have been plenty of opportunities to put your skills to practice. If so, what have been the “pay-offs” for you? What benefits have you already noticed by being mindful and paying attention to the most valuable asset you have in your life – your social support!
Month 9 - 2008 - Social Capital
The reference below to “social capital” comes from good, old Wikipedia (don’t you love it!):
Social capital is a concept in business, economics, organizational behaviour, political science, public health, sociology and natural resources management that refers to connections within and between social networks.
Whilst there are various definitions within each of these fields, each tend to share the core idea that social networks are valuable. The main aspects considered are citizenship, neighbourliness, trust and shared values, community involvement, volunteering, social networks and civic participation – all falling very much within the realm of Positive Psychology.
In my preparation for writing this month’s e-news I stumbled across an article on a social capital website about Randy Pausch and saw that it summed up in a lot of ways what I was aiming at discussing. For those of you that have never heard of him, Randy Pausch was a Computer Science Professor at Carnegie Mellon University in the US, whose “last lecture” was published in a book of the same name and viewed on YouTube by millions of people worldwide (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo).
Now whilst “last lectures” are fairly common for a retiring professor, in this case, Randy’s retirement wasn’t voluntary; he was dying from pancreatic cancer and he knew he didn’t have long to live. Randy, in this precious period of time, clearly was able to identify his “truths” and had a desire to leave this legacy to his children and the world. Randy identified “eight life lessons” (see http://socialcapital.wordpress.com/2008/07/25/my-8-life-lessons-from-randy-pausch/) and whilst this month I won’t list them all, there were two that clearly recognized the importance of social capital, which I have listed below
Work and play well together. - Tell The Truth. All The Time. No one is pure evil. - Be willing to apologize. Proper apologies have three parts: 1) What I did was wrong. 2) I’m sorry that I hurt you. 3) How do I make it better? It’s the third part that people tend to forget…. Apologize when you screw up and focus on other people, not on yourself. - Show gratitude. Gratitude is a simple but powerful thing. - Find the best in everybody…. Wait long enough, and people will surprise and impress you. It might even take years, but people will show you their good side. Just keep waiting. - If you want to achieve your dreams, you better learn to work and play well with others…[you have] to live with integrity.
Collaboration, treating others with respect. - Never found anger a way to make things better. - How do you get people to help you? You can’t get there alone. People have to help you and I do believe in karma. I believe in paybacks. You get people to help you by telling the truth. Being earnest. I’ll take an earnest person over a hip person any day, because hip is short term. Earnest is long term. - Loyalty is a two-way street. - Get a feedback loop and listen to it. Your feedback loop can be this dorky spreadsheet thing I did, or it can just be one great man who tells you what you need to hear. The hard part is the listening to it.
Randy died on July 25 this year – a sad loss but an amazing legacy left behind! I hope Randy’s last words are as inspiring to you as they have been to me. If only we all lived each day as if it was our last!
This Month's Action Plan - “Building more social capital”
This month, reflect on your relationships once again, both at work and in your personal life. Who is in your “social circle”? (email me for a tool that helps you to clearly identify this if you wish). Most importantly, ask yourself who is in my “inner sanctum”? These are the people that have stood the test of time. They have stood by you through success and failure, through good and bad times. They are there for you when they can be and they listen attentively to your hopes and dreams and your fears and concerns.
Which of these relationships needs most attention and care at the moment? In our busy lives, we’re often distracted and don’t make enough time to tend to these relationships. Making a commitment to doing so, particularly for the “special ones” is important and needs to be prioritized. Have you remembered birthdays this year? Do you call just to see how they are? Do you know what their pressing issue is at the moment or their children’s or families’? Is there anything you could do to help? Reflect on these relationships this month and make a commitment to doing something different.
I’m also very happy for you to email me to share a story that might inspire someone else that reads the e-news! I now have over 1600 subscribers and would like to thank all of you for taking the time to read my e-news and for some of the beautiful, thoughtful emails I have received in the past– thank you!
Have a great month!
Next Month…I’ll be turning my attention to building psychological capital!
It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.
Randy Pausch
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